The Prodigal Turncoat Returns!

Four years ago, Lebron James went on TV and in the most ridiculous spectacle in recent memory announced that he was “taking his talents to South Beach.” Immediately, every teenage boy in America had a new euphemism for taking a dump. This was fitting given Lebron’s “Decision” was to leave the Cavs, his hometown team that had drafted him with the first pick, to join what was then Wade’s team in Miami along with Bosh.

I killed Lebron for that decision. As did pretty much the entire sports world outside of the state of Florida. We had the best player in the world abandoning his team for “help” chasing rings somewhere else. This wasn’t a washed up Malone and Payton going to the Lakers for one last gasp. Or Shaq being pushed out of LA because of Kobe and then going on to win a ring in Miami. This was “The King”, in his prime, voluntarily choosing to play in someone else’s court.

My absolute favorite description of the Decision actually came from someone defending Lebron:

“James loves to have fun. He’s not a killer, like Michael Jordan. He’s not a harping-on-the-court-coach, pain-in-the-rear like Kobe. He doesn’t need to win like he needs his next breath, like Lance Armstrong. He is goofy and funny and whimsical. The fake camera shots, the dancing, the chalk. He was like that in high school and he’s still like that. So why should anybody be surprised when he wants to play with his friends in a city that’s 97 percent fun? The Miami Heat are the perfect fit for James. It’s Dwyane Wade’s team. Wade can be the killer, like he was while winning a ring in 2006. James will just dunk, swat layups and do his Kid n’ Play impressions. You could see it in how much he loved the over-the-top bacchanalia the Heat put on for the Three Rise Men — fireworks, fog, voguing down the catwalk. You may want him to be something else, but he’s not. What are you going to do, sue?”

“You may want him to be something else, but he’s not.” Still true.


After Lebron went to Miami, the rest became history. In four years, the three amigos have been to four finals, winning two of them. But what have we really learned over that period? That he can get a team through the atrocious east and then win a 7 game series playing with Wade and Bosh? Not to put too fine a point on it, but so what? I bet a starting five of Wade, Durant, Lebron, Bosh, and Duncan would win it all too. Color me unimpressed.

But then, after winning two championships, a funny thing happened on the way to that three-peat. The Heat got their collective asses kicked by a better basketball “team.” The less athletic Spurs, largely using ball movement and fundamental basketball, dismantled the best player in the world and his little boy band of south beach collusiveness. It was eerily similar to all of those times that Kobe and Jordan had their teams get spanked in 5 (with FOUR double digit losses) in a finals series when they were playing with two other all stars they had hand picked. Wait a minute, I’m getting word that never happened.

So, The King’s hand picked team just got hammered for the first time since they joined up together. How will he respond? Like the great ones do. By working even harder with his teammates and coaching staff so it will never happen again and going into F.U. mode in four straight playoff series next year. Right? Hello? Wait a minute, I’m getting word that’s not how he’ll respond at all.

How will Lebron respond to his first bit of adversity since leaving the Cavs? ABANDON SHIP!!! ABANDON SHIP!!! Attention, Attention: Lebroney needs more help! Get Lebroney more help!! Oh, and while we’re at it, let’s hope the press spins this into a great “story” about Lebron coming “home” to “atone” for the way he left.

Horse manure.

Lebron is going back to Cleveland because playing on a team with Kyrie, Wiggins, and potentially Kevin Love, on a team with future cap space (with wiggins on a rookie deal and kyrie on a lower “max”) and draft picks they can use as currency (the heat traded all their picks to cle in the sign and trade to get LeBron) gives Lebron a better chance to win championships over the next four years than staying in Miami with a capped out team, no picks, and a breaking down Wade. He’s like Malone and Peyton in their final years, every year.

What’s the matter Lebron, couldn’t you have signed a 1 year deal with the Spurs? Or would that have been too transparent? How about this: maybe instead of choosing your team now, just hang out until you see which teams make the finals, and then sign a ten day contract with whoever you think has a better chance to win. If you’re going to be this guy, then at least be up front about it and go the full 9.

Or, just continue to be such a front runner, that you’ll go back to playing for a guy who publicly called you a “coward” in a city that BURNED YOUR JERSEY IN EFFIGY. I think that if the Columbus KKK’s had an all star team and a max contract slot, we’d see Lebron wearing all white next year.

Oh, and to the fans who burned Lebron’s Jersey four years ago and are now buying season tickets to cheer for him? You’re a bunch of hypocrites.


One guy I don’t feel at all bad for in this is D. Wade. Four years ago, you must have been thinking what a coup it was that you could get the best player in the world to leave his HOME team and play for yours. And you got two more rings out of it, so congrats. But don’t act all wounded when he leaves the second you guys start to have problems for greener pastures. The cowardly turncoat giveth, and the cowardly turncoat taketh away.

I may want him to be something else, but he’s not.

World Cup Quarterfinals Predictions

France vs. Germany

A classic clash of European powers, but they come in to this one from opposite positions.  Germany was seen as one of the big favorites coming in, but since that opening demolition of Portugal, they’ve failed to impress much.  Meanwhile, France came in with fairly low expectations, especially when Franck Ribery went down with an injury, but they’ve arguably been the best team in the tournament to this point.  This is a tricky pick for me, as the Germans were my pick to win it all and the French were my “sleeper” pick.  I have to stick with the quality of the Germans.  I wonder if they will put Miroslav Klose or Andre Schurrle into the starting line-up, because they’ve really struggled to find goals over their past two games.  I’ll go with Germany 2-1.

Brazil vs. Colombia

Somewhat similar to Germany/France, with a big favorite who has underwhelmed against a team that has rolled through with four relatively easy wins to this point.  But, this time, I’m going with the upset.  Part of the reason I didn’t pick Brazil to win this tournament was because I felt like the pressure would just weigh them down and balance out any positive push they get from the home-field advantage.  I think we’ve seen that bear out in their performance, as well as the way that numerous players broke down in tears after their WIN over Chile.  I think they’re just wound up too tight, and with each successive step in this tournament it gets squeezed tighter.  Meanwhile, the Colombians have played with such confidence and ease.  They won’t have the home crowd in this one that they’ve had in the previous four games, but they’ve shown the talent to take down this Brazil team, and even to win this tournament.  Colombia knocks out the hosts with a 3-2 win.

Argentina vs. Belgium

As great as the two games on Friday are, this one is probably the most interesting for me.  I see it as virtually a coin flip game on a neutral field, but this isn’t a totally neutral field, of course.  Argentina is playing on their home continent and will certainly have the advantage in crowd support.  All that being said, I’m going with my Belgians in the upset.  Belgium has found yet another young talent in 19-year-old striker Divock Origi.  The big clubs of Europe will be falling all over each other trying to sign him away from Lille after this tournament.  And now Romelu Lukaku may have his confidence back after a great performance as a sub against the US.  It seems like they may have settled on the attacking midfield of Hazard, De Bruyne, and Mertens, with Witsel and Fellaini behind them.  It’s a monster front six, with a top notch goalkeeper that can hide some of the deficiencies in the back four.  I’ll say the Belgians find the goal in extra time for a 2-1 win.

Netherlands vs. Costa Rica

I haven’t, at any point, been a big believer in this Netherlands team, and it looked like they might be heading home as they trailed Mexico in the 88th minute last game.  But now they get, by far, the weakest quarterfinal opponent out there.  Costa Rica has shown themselves to be legit and they are hard to score on, with a strong defensive style and a really good keeper in Keylor Navas.  But I have to go with the Dutch to find a way and win this 1-0.