The Death of Garrett Reid

I will not be arrogant and say “you have to be a parent to know what it must feel like to lose a child” because I think that to discount someone’s empathetic perspective is flat-out ignorant.  However, just speaking for myself, I can absolutely say that, before the birth of my first child, I did not have the same level of sympathy and understanding of the pain for a parent who has had to bury a child as I do today.  Maybe it is because of this still-fresh emotion I have or because of the closeness to home with which the Garrett Reid death hit me (our long-time football coach at a funeral service in Broomall attended by 900 people, including Roger Gooddell…), but this story has really evoked a level and depth of sadness in me that few sports/news stories have been capable of doing.

I did not know Garrett Reid.  I do not know Andy Reid.  I doubt that I even know anyone that knows anyone in the Reid family, despite growing up in the next town over and attending neighboring high schools.  But, sports have a funny way of making us feel awfully close to total strangers.  We don’t ever really get to know film actors because, well, they’re always acting.  And, when we do see their true human sides, it’s usually because they did something disappointing or offensive or stupid.  As for musicians, we may know some of their inner thoughts or deepest secrets through their lyrics, do we really feel like we know them?  Do we feel like we have joint experiences or are we just acutely aware of their experiences?  And, then there are our politicians, whose whole career is based around the majority of people feeling like they know them, and yet, they may be the most distant of anyone, when it comes right down to it. 

But, sports figures are out there.  They bleed, sweat, and cry in front of us.  Their rejoicing is a matter of public record to be replayed over and over again on SportsCenter.  Their interactions with teammates, coaches, opposing players, fans who love them, and fans who hate them are all dissected and analyzed under the intense media microscope on which everyone is to draw their own judgments of the individual people they are.  And, we believe in them; we celebrate their successes right along with them; and, we feel pain when they feel pain.  For many of us, some of the most important moments of our lives are also the most important moments in our favorite athletes’ lives.  Chase Utley’s “World F*cking Champions” speech felt like it was said to me directly.

So, when something happens like what happened to the Reid family over the weekend, we feel it.  Genuinely and legitimately.  And, this was one of the worst things that can happen to a person.  You always hear things like “burying a child is one of the worst things a human being can endure” or “when you have a child, all you think about is the life they may lead, the successes they may find, the triumphs they may realize, so, one day, for that all to be taken away is almost too much to handle” or “your one job as a parent is to protect your child from harm, so when harm finds them, you cannot help but feel like, somehow, you’ve failed.”  Well, when my child was born in October of last year, these sentiments immediately turned from cliche to gospel.  I am not saying – in any way – that the Reids have failed or that they will not be able to handle this in time, but what I am saying is that, deep down, there is a part of them feeling that way right now, and just the thought that someone feels that right now hits me with a raw, empty emotion.

I don’t know the answer to all of this – I don’t even know why I felt the need to write this.  But, what I can say is that I wish there was something someone could do to alleviate the suffering felt by the Reid family right now because I can only imagine it to be a suffering that takes one to the brink of total emptiness and despair, and no one should have to go through that kind of agony. 

Our thoughts are with you, Reid family…