One of the most common topics that sports fans like to rant about is television announcers, and rightly so. They’re often spectacularly bad. To paraprase an anonymous person (because I forget where I heard it), the United States has produced hundreds of people that can capably perform a heart transplant, hundreds of people that could help navigate a space shuttle, and maybe half a dozen people that can properly announce a football game.
Now, after 25 years of watching sports, I usually just don’t even notice bad announcers anymore. You just accept it after a while. Sometimes I’ll find myself watching a game with someone who hasn’t yet reached this level of acceptance and they’ll say, “Did he just say [insert ridiculous, maybe even insane comment]?”. I’ll wince, nod my head, and say, Yes, yes he did. I wince, in part, because I realize that if it hadn’t been pointed out to me, I probably would have listened to that ridiculous, possibly insane comment without even batting an eye.
And so, that brings me to the point of this story, which is, it takes an especially awful performance by an announcer to get 
my attention these days. There are a number ways to achieve that necessary level of incompetence, and during the Redskins-Seahawks game on Saturday, NBC play-by-play man Tom Hammond took the subtle approach. The very, very subtle approach.
The Skins scored early in the fourth quarter to make the score 13-7 Seahawks. So it’s a tight playoff game, with the Skins trying to build some more momentum. On the ensuing Seahawk possession, Matt Hasselbeck throws an interception to LaRon Landry in Seattle territory. How does Hammond respond? With no emotion whatsoever. He announced that the ball had been ‘intercepted’ in the same tone of voice you would expect if there had a been a false start called. He only started to raise his voice slightly when Landry started running down the sideline. You can see it at the 2:40 mark of this clip. That interception was a huge, game-changing play in the fourth quarter of a playoff game!
Later in the quarter, with the Skins now leading 14-13, the Seahawks drove into Washington territory, looking to take back the lead. Again Hasselbeck was intercepted by Landry, and again Hammond acted about as excited as someone reading their grocery list (3:20 mark of the same clip). I’m not saying I need my play-by-play announcers getting overly excited and yelling and screaming. But I think acting like you’re at least somewhat interested in what is happening on the field goes a long way. When there’s a turnover in the fourth quarter of a close playoff game, you need to convey to your audience that something important has happened. If I’m in the next room over from the TV, I should heading right in to say, “What happened?”, based on the announcer’s rise in voice.
For this performance, I actually want to thank Tom Hammond. He has inspired me to create the BSB Announcer Hall-of-Shame. Ladies and gentlemen, the inaugural inductees (in alphabetical order):
- Joe Buck
- Eric Dickerson
- Bryant Gumbel
- Tom Hammond
- Gary Matthews, Sr. (Phillies color man)
- Tim McCarver
- Paul McGuire
- Tom Paciorek (former Nationals color man)
- Tony Siragusa
- Bill Walton
This is just a start, membership will grow. We did have some disagreements in our discussions of who is in and out. Bry nominated Chris Collinsworth, but I like him. I nominated John Madden and Joe Theismann, but Bry likes them. I want to state my case for Madden. I was a long time Madden supporter. Throughout the 90’s, if there was a big game, Madden and Pat Summerall were calling it. Now, he was never a really ‘good’ announcer. You never got interesting insight into what was happening in the game, but he did 
have a lot of enthusiasm and when I heard him announcing a game, I was happy about it. He was similar to what Dick Vitale is now. You can say what you want about Dicky V, but I enjoy watching games with him announcing. I like the (over) enthusiastic-style, when it’s genuine. I think Madden, as he’s aged, has lost that enthusiasm. I don’t hear it from him anymore. So now, he’s just an uninformative, uninteresting guy, who I think is moving towards Hall-of-Shame status.
I’m sure we missed plenty of terrible announcers, so nominations are welcome.
Bil Walton should have his own wing in this Hall of Fame.
I actually think that Madden had a better year this year than anytime since about 1997. As for the rest on the list, not sure how you can include Joe Buck on there. While I don’t think he is anything great, not sure if he deserves mention with these others. I wonder what makes you put Paciorek on here. As a Chicago guy that listened for years to Hawk and Wimpy, I loved Paciorek and would kill to have himi back in the booth. Let me know what makes him so bad…because he used to be pretty good.
Deion Sanders – Now that the NFL network thinks that everyone should be involved in the broadcast, this guy was AWFUL. Like Bryant Gumbel awful.
And, since everyone should be positive in January (the rest of the year is for negativity), how bout some nominations for Hall of Fame announcers:
1. Pat Haden – ever since his TNT days on the NFL, I still like to listen to this guy.
2. Billy Packer – while supposedly one of the biggest d-bags in real life, his ability to break down a college basketball game is second to none.
3. Jim Nantz – is there anyone that allows a game to speak for itself better?
4. Troy Aikman – I actually think he is getting worse as he goes on because he is becoming more “Fox-ized”, but when he started, that guy constantly pointed out stuff that no one else did.
Yeah, Hall of Fame announcers may come at a later date. I agree that Packer is good, everyone else seems to hate him. I also loved Hubie Brown, amazing at breaking down NBA games and making them interesting.
I agree that Nantz and Phil Simms is a great duo.
Aikman may be good, but he can never be in our Hall-of-Fame. No Cowboys need apply. With that in mind, Deion Sanders, welcome to the Hall-of-Shame!
Paciorek was a Bryan nomination. I’m not familiar with him.
Oh, and Joe Buck just rubs me the wrong way in so many ways. He’s fine at actually being a play-by-play guy. But it’s the things he throws in there between all that that drives me crazy. He tries to be the schmoozy, likable guy, and he’s just not. And there’s some particular instances that really bothered me. Like when Randy Moss faked like he was mooning the crowd in Green Bay and Buck acted like Moss had just pulled a woman from out of the crowd and had sex with her on the field. “That is a DISGUSTING ACT by Randy Moss, it’s unfortunate that we had that on our air, that is DISGUSTING”. Or at Game 4 of the World Series this year when the A-Rod story broke and Buck proceeded to lead a discussion with McCarver about A-Rod for a whole inning instead of talking about how the Red Sox were about to win the World Series. THAT was disgusting.
Doogan, I’d like to nominate the following person. You have to tell me who it is (because I have no idea), but i’ll give you the story. You and I were watching a Vikings game (week 13 against the Lions, I think) of this season. Adrian Peterson was having another great game in a stellar rookie season. However, this announcer decided to mutter the following nonsense in a stunningly matter-of-fact manner (paraphasing): “These Lions have seen some great running backs over the years. The best of which being Barry Sanders…That is, until tonight.” After seeing no reaction from you (as accurately described in this article), I repeated the statement in my head to confirm I heard what I thought I heard. After verifying the ridiculousness of the comment, I turned to you and asked, “did he just infer that adrian peterson is BETTER THAN BARRY SANDERS [after seeing him play for less than a baker’s dozen NFL games]??!!” In a shamed and disgusted low voice, without even turning from the TV, you replied, “Yes. Yes he did.” And that was the end of that because neither of us wanted to dignify the comment with a conversation. I want to nominate that D-Bag.
The announcers Hall of Fame needs its own column. Off the top of my head, there HAS to be Gus Johnson, Bill Rafferty, Brad Nessler, Harry Kalas, Richie Ashburn, Bob Uecker (not just as Harry Doyle), Marv Albert, Thom Brennaman, Brent Musburger, the two guys who used to do White Sox games (“You can put it on the board…YES!!! Mac, is that Hank and Wimpy?), and the one and only Bob Costas (he’s the best)!
In defense of the Tom Paciorek nomination, I had no idea that that was his name (and I’m still not sure), but I lived in DC for the second half of the 2006 baseball season and watched a lot of Nationals games. Now, I’m like Doogan in that I’m kind of desensitized to bad announcing, but I could not believe how utterly dreadful this announcer was. I just couldn’t get past how awful he was. I feel bad nominating a guy I don’t know, but as I told Doogan in an email today, the fact that I don’t know who it is means that my disgust of his announcing ability is not from over-exposure and not from other people’s disgust–it was from pure lack of ability to announce a baseball game. Sorry that I held back a little bit…
I actually don’t mind Joe Buck. Tim McCarver should be in there about 100 times. He is atrocious – some of the things he says are so incredibly stupid that I think the guy is actually border line retarded. And one more nomination: Keith Hernandez. Hernandez re-defines the word annoying when it comes to announcing sports. He is the Linda Cohn of announcing.
Today’s San Diego-Indy game reminded me of an old-time lock for the BSB Announcer Hall of Shame: Dan Dierdorf. I totally forgot how absolutely atrocious he is (going back to his Monday Night Football days), until I was brutally reminded of it today. A couple examples of the gems that the great Dierdorf threw out there today:
“These fans just realized what Peyton Manning already knows: since the Colts are down by 4, they’re going to need a touchdown to take the lead…or two field goals.”
“I asked Tony Dungy flat-out today, ‘Is there a chance that you are the coach of the Indianapolis Colts next year. And he said, “Yes, there’s a chance.” So, he might be back, but he might not.”
“The New England Patriots are probably pretty happy that the Chargers might be playing next week without a healthy Philip Rivers or LaDanian Tomlinson.”
Thanks, Dan, dynamite drop-ins.
Ha, I actually though about putting him on. He said another thing today that a lot of announcers say that is really dumb. After Reggie Wayne scored, he said, “That was a great individual effort by Reggie Wayne”, as opposed to a ‘group effort’ by Reggie Wayne? If you’re talking about a ‘great effort’ by one particular player, isn’t it pretty obvious that it’s an ‘individual effort’?
great call on the clown from the nationals, being stuck in DC for the past 3 years and thanks to the clowns at direct tv not allowing you to choose which announcing team you listen to, i have heard plenty of him. he is by far the biggest homer i have ever heard, worse than dookie V. he also hates Philadelphia, Philadelphians, cheesteaks, the phanatic, boo-ing, jimmy rollins…. i could go on. every phils game in DC would include a “well you hear those boos in the background, those are the people from Philadelphia who drove down here to boo because we dont do that here in Washington” comment by the bottom 3rd he is the worst
suggestions for the harry kalas announcer hall of fame…. gus johnson, dan schulman, and of course bill raftery “DA KISS”
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